The Gameological Society Hatin’ on E3

June 5, 2012 — Leave a comment

 

 

If you’re a fan of video games, this week’s proceedings at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (aka E3) should get your attention. Or rather, it seems, the big gaming studios desperately want your attention.

Microsoft must not have much in the way of innovation if they need both the ‘South Park’ creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, to pimp their new game for the XBox 360, and a flashy number by Usher to keep their audience’s attention.

The H4t3r has no doubt that video game technology will continue to grow, and that innovative and original games will continue to be released; but E3 is not the place to hear about such things.

Thus, we shall hate it. And we shall direct your attentions to those who hate it more thoroughly.

Avid H4t3r readers, meet The Gameological Society.

It’s a fairly new site dedicated to all forms of gaming, with most of their energy devoted to video gaming. It was created as a sister site to The A.V. Club and features several of their writers. This week they’re liveblogging the big presentations at E3 while also providing some scathing commentary on the whole scene in some very well-written columns.

 

So if you love video games, and also have a soul, check it out the liveblog of Nintendo’s presentation at E3 here.

In Video Games
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Sean O’Neal and A.V. Club Hatin’ on Mark Zuckerberg

April 9, 2012 — 1 Comment

Today the internet is littered with R.I.P. Instagram posting. This is not a post of that nature. We hate Instagram too much to wish it any sort of peace. And it probably isn’t going anywhere anyway.

We probably would not have wished Mark Zuckerberg on it either, but at least he comes with a cool fucking billion dollars.

According to Zuckerberg in his Facebook press release, Facebook and Instagram will continue to operate independently. I have a feeling a “for now” should end that sentence, but it doesn’t (for now).

Sean O’neal over at the A.V. Club takes a similarly cynical tone in his Newswire post. Don’t take it personally, Zuckerberg. O’neal can tear down anything with his sarcasm.

In other news revealed in the press release, Zuckerberg says he doesn’t really plan on acquiring any other companies that already have so many users. That means one thing to these ears, there’s still hope that h4t3r can become part of the Facebook family.

A billion dollars… A billion dollars…. A billion dollars……

In Technology
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The Playlist Hatin’ on (some of) ‘The Hunger Games’

March 27, 2012 — 2 Comments

 

Now that ‘The Hunger Games‘ has been out for 5 days, it’s time to rip it down. Unfortunately for all the haters, people seemed to love the shit out of this movie. Based on the 152 million American motherfucking dollars it received its opening weekend, everybody in the country went to see it.

Except me. Maybe that’s why I feel especially qualified to hate. Seeing the film would only confirm my  unfair, unqualified early judgements of the film.

 

Also pretty lame is the fact that most critics fell for the ‘Games’ as well. Even internet blogging critics, notorious writers of hatred and snarktitude. Because of this, I will take whatever I can get.

Yesterday The Playlist staff discussed what worked and (thank god) what didn’t work in ‘The Hunger Games’. Among things that worked: children dying and outrageous facial hair. I’m guessing. I ignored that part of the article.

Check it out here.

 

In Film
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Grantland and Mark Titus Hatin’ on Your Brackets

March 12, 2012 — 8 Comments

Well, folks, Selection Sunday has come and gone, and the brackets are set. Guess who’s pissed off about it.

Every team that didn’t make the tournament. And that means LSU. And that means LSU fans. And that means me. If an 18-14 team in a weaker conference doesn’t live up to your tournament standards then I don’t need any part of it anyway.

Or that would be the case if filling out brackets wasn’t so damn fun.

So who do I root for now that I’ll be watching NCAA basketball for the remainder of the month? Every team that plays Kentucky, and every team that plays Duke. Nobody likes a “best team in the country”, and fucking nobody likes Duke.

While this is how I’ll be cheering, I simply cannot endorse this philosophy as a good way to fill out your brackets.

For some better insight, one should head over to Grantland, a sports and pop culture blog curated by the great Bill Simmons. There, Mark Titus has written up a few of his tourney predictions. Some are safe. Some sound ridiculous. Kentucky in the Final Four? Really, Mark? My will and fury alone will give some team the strength to crush Kentucky by the Elite Eight, at the latest. Duh.

Go to Grantland.

In Sports
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Glenn Kenny at Some Came Running Hatin’ on Your Wallet, March Edition

March 12, 2012 — Leave a comment

Glenn Kenny is the coolest film critic/blogger around. Their are dozens of film bloggers worth your time; and hundreds, maybe more who aren’t. So let us take some time to hate him for being cooler than us.

 

I’ve been an avid reader of his blog Some Came Running since right after its inception, which was right after he was let go of his head critic position by film magazine Premiere. Along with linking to his many articles he writes as a freelancer, he also writes about what he’s watching, what other critics are writing, and whatever else he’s thinking about that day. The blog’s setup is not so unique, but Kenny’s voice is. He has a great passion for the movies he loves, and a snarky sense of humor when discussing the ones he doesn’t.

He often writes about things you likely haven’t seen or heard of, but I’d still highly recommend checking him out anyway. He’ll introduce you to some great works.

One of his most fun regular features is the Blu-ray Consumer Guide. Each month Kenny collects the new releases that interest him and grades them based on their audio/visual qualities and general worth.

The March edition, posted a few days ago, includes well known classics by Woody Allen and Alfred Hitchcock, as well as movies ranging from “Birth of a Nation” to the recent “Rise of The Planet of the Apes”.

As always, it’s a fun read. But be warned, it will likely make you want to spend an unjustifiable amount of money on movies.

Check it out here.

In Film
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Sputnikmusic Hatin’ on the Wiggle

March 12, 2012 — 2 Comments

 

I know this happened last week, but I missed it. Deal, bitches.

 

Say what you will about Jimmy Fallon, and it seems that most will say plenty; but he does a good Neil Young. He also has a great ear for which pop songs would work best receiving his Neil Young treatment. He found a hidden beauty in Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair”

Sputnikmusic’s blog posted the video of Jimmy Fallon/Neil Young’s rendition of LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It”, and it tops all that came before. By that I mean all music that came before last week.

 

As many of you probably know, LMFAO is a duo. So how does Neil pull it off? By enlisting The Boss himself, Bruce motherfucking Springsteen, of course.

 

You can watch the video and read Sputnik’s typically witty and funny commentary here.

Or if you’re lazy, you can watch it below.

Damn. Does The Boss know how to wiggle, or what?

In Music, Television
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Joystiq and Jessica Conditt Hatin’ on ‘Journey’

March 2, 2012 — Leave a comment

 

Only critics have been able to play it ahead of its March 13 release date, but the PSN exclusive “Journey” has been creating some big hype in the past couple days.

According to the pictures available online, you control a triangle person as he wanders through the desert. Further research of details would disgrace the nature of blogging.

Thankfully, other venues aren’t so lazy. Joystiq‘s Jordan Mallory wrote up the game yesterday, awarding 5/5 stars. That’s something of a rarity for the site. Read it here.

Mallory emphasizes how awesome the game is as not just a game, but an experience. Great. So what do you do? That’s harder to say. He doesn’t really get into the specifics of what your goal in the game is or how you achieve it, or if it even has such components.

His and the other reviews compiled on Metacritic sing much the same song. “This is beautiful, great, awesome, the best. It’s only 2 hours long, but so worth it!” (direct quote from my brain’s review compiler)

Wait. It’s only 2 hours long? Yep. And $15. Your Playstation hates you.

 

Getting the reviews out early seems to have done its job. Obviously. I’ve devoted all these sentence fragments to a game I desperately want to play immediately, yet know almost nothing about.

So in drops Jessica Conditt and Joystiq again to tell us we can play the game a whole week early…… if you’re PS Plus member.

Goddammit.

 

Here’s another screen cap to show you what the game is like:

Huh?

In Video Games
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The Playlist and Kevin Jagernauth Hatin’ on the new Hunger Games clip

March 1, 2012 — Leave a comment

Who ordered this pig?

Everybody on the internet has picked up the new clip for “The Hunger Games“, a movie you should obviously care about even though you’re not a 16-year-old girl.

The clip has Jennifer Lawrence’s hero Katniss trying to impress the a council with her commendable archery skills before she’s to enter the Hunger Games arena where she will fight other teens to the death. She gets pissed off.

(SPOILER)

She’s always pissed off

(END SPOILER)

The clip is fine. Everyone will see this movie.

The Playlist and Kevin Jagernauth have provided the best insight on the footage by choosing to focus on Wes Bentley’s “amazing/terrible elaborate facial hair.” Too true. I have no idea what character he’s playing, but hopefully there’s still time to rework this film and make him into star. “Hey, Hey! Who ordered this pig?” The man is a genius.

“The Hunger Games” comes to theaters March 23. (So maybe not enough time?)

 

In Film
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